I have not been blogging recently. Too many things imposing priorities on my life, plus the Democratic convention in which Barack Obama was confirmed as the presidential nominee. If you look at my blog roll in the right column, you will see an updated list of blogs to help fill the void. I want to mention one blog in specific, Stephanie Ritchie's blog, which details her daily practice.
In New York Times Magazine On Language - Namaste, a yoga teacher and writer Jaimie Epstein gives a primer of the Sanskrit that creeps in the vocabulary of people willing to get on the yoga mat.
Guru means "remover of darkness" and is someone who sheds light on your ignorance. Although the word guru (with a big G) is associated with spiritual guides, anyone or any situation can be your guru (small g) if he/she/it teaches you something, and there is surely no end to the opportunities presented to us every day.
Labels: life style, news
I sought out a conversation with Pierre Couvillion, a wandering yoga instructor and bodyworker, about my knee injury. Pierre has been filling some teaching holes at Thrive Yoga due to the August vacation absences. I wanted the opinion of someone who understood yoga and bodywork with a non-medical outlook to balance against what my doctor and acupuncturist told me. He recommended going ahead with the surgery because Western medicine deals more effectively with meniscus tears than other health alternatives.
Although I can trace my injury to the Rumbaugh workshop (part 1, part 2) a month ago because that's when it started to hurt, I can not say that it was the cause of the injury. At no time did I sense a jab of pain or feel that I had gone too far. It was only the next day that I notice a minor ache in my knee. It was two weeks after the event that the injury got in the way of my yoga practice. Pierre told me that injuries often happen at workshops because the "glow of a extraordinary teacher" frequently blind us to the limits of our bodies. I know that I was physically tired towards the end of the weekend, which is a double edge sword: the fatigue breaks down resistance in the body, but it can make me insensitive to the natural limits.
I've made major changes to my life style in the past five years. When I finished my Masters degree in May 2003, I was in sad shape. Working full time and getting a graduate degree, I smoked, ate poorly and was sedentary during work hours and at home. I was at least 30, maybe even 40 at times, pounds overweight. This blog documents my long slog back into a healthy life style. I've only been running since October last year. I've tried to increase my exercise regime's intensity gradually, both with the practice of yoga and running. That's why I adopted Chirunning, because it tried to reduce the heel's impact on the ground. But I could have abused my meniscus over the past year or worn it down over the past five years, or it could have been a problem that was just waiting for the right trigger to set it off, like a piece of paper that had been folded repeatedly in the same place and finally tore apart. Although I've tried to prevent myself from doing harmful things, like fit into lotus pose before my body was ready, I am still laboring with the body with tight hips that has sat in front of a computer for 20 years (if I had sat crosslegged on the ground all my life, I probably would not have this problem). My tight hips are going to stress my knees automatically, and I noticed that as my legs gradually moved closer to resting on the ground in easy pose, it increased the torque on the knees. I am one month short of being 59 years old, after all, and the body starts breaking down at this stage.
There are lots of adjustments that can be done to protect the knees, but when you have a torn meniscus, there's no way around it.
What I am trying to say is that my injury did not happen because I was a bad yogi who was misusing his body. It's not my fault. I think I was especially at risk because my tightly wound muscles were loosening a different speeds.
It's now confirmed: I have a torn medial meniscus that requires surgery. The debris poses a medium-term risk to the integrity of the knee, and Dr. Connell recommends cleaning up the knee by the end of the year, at the latest. He did not leave open a medical option for wait-and-see. The arthroscopic surgery is an outpatient procedure and requires three days of post-operative rest at home. It would then mean 4-6 weeks of recovery and physical therapy before taking up physical exercise. I could expect full recovery within three months.
Curiously, my knee was feeling fine today, with no pain or stiffness, so the news surprised me because I was imagining that I was recovering. If I had felt like this last week, I would never have gone to a doctor. The main problem of the meniscus is that it does not heal. It's a piece of cartilage that has no blood flow, and once it gets torn it becomes a piece of debris that can mess up the rest of the knee. Some people actually have their knees lock up on them because the meniscus moves between the bones and impedes movements.
But Dr Connell is in the business of solving problems by surgery so he has a professional, business and scientific bias to using surgery to fix injuries. He does have a reputation for not automatically prescribing surgery, which was one of my reasons for consulting him.
I already had an appointment with Kelly Welch, my acupuncturist, and so I asked him about the best course of action. He suggested waiting to see how my knee felt. He's had problems with both knees, at least one of them due to overaggressiveness in yoga poses. His biggest reservation about operating is that once part of the meniscus is removed, the knee can never return to its normal state.
He advised against future running because it put so much stress on the knee, even with the best technique. That's a kind of hypothetical questions because I don't have enough confidence to even jog. We closed out the session with acupuncture and electrical stimulus to the knee (so he's got a professional bias, too).
I saw an orthopaedist today, Dr. Mark Connell at Washington Orthopaedics and Sports Medicine. The appointment served to rule out arthritis and bone chips or other fragments in my knee. I was X-rayed for this purpose. The doctor confirmed that I had some swelling and fluid in my knee. He asked that I get an MRI to look at the cartilage and check for hairline fractures in the bone. I was able to get to a MRI service lab in the same building and have the films in hand. I wish I could read them, which would remove most of my concern.
Dr. Connell told me that I could resume physical exercise as long as the knee did not hurt, though it would probably be better to focus on low-impact aerobic exercise, rather than getting back to running now. Ice and ibuprofen were all that I needed to relieve any pain.
So far, the pain has been ebbing daily since I started icing the knee in the evenings.
Back in late June, I mentioned that I had been offered a chance to join Gaiam Yoga Club. After a slow start due to a hectic schedule, I have started to follow the program on a daily basis and have now finished up my third week. Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman are the teachers in this intensive yoga immersion program. The core is in three formats:
- Videos of demos: these are Flash videos with very high production values, both in terms of visuals and audio. I've seen a good number of yoga DVDs. These are up there with the best ones for beginners. Each week's material is divided up into 10-12 segments that can be viewed independently. Yee and Seidman take turns demoing the poses and vinyasas. They provide a huge volume of insight and tips into the poses. It reminded me of all the good hands-on workshops that I've taken in the past two years (Beryl Bender Berch, Jordan Bloom, Alan Finger, Desiree Rumbaugh) because all the good teachers pound away at reinforcing the fundamentals and the details of the poses, even with experienced practitioners. You can come back to these videos repeatedly to review the instructions, see the adjustments that Yee and Seidman make to each other, and catch something new that you had missed the first or second time around.
- Audio podcasts: you can listen to these daily practices, either in your browser, in an audio application or downloaded and save as a podcast to be played in your MP3 player. These sessions, narrated by Yee or Seidman, are 20-35 minutes long and follow up on the points made in the video sessions. The audio is useful because it makes me focus on my body, rather than peeking up at a computer monitor or TV screen.
- Visual sequences of each daily practice: these are photos of Yee and Seidman in the poses of the sequences, which gives visual queues to those who may not know the Sanskrit names of all the poses yet or may be unsure about all the components of the pose.
As I've mentioned before, a rep from Gaiam Yoga Club invited me to test their program free of charge for 13 weeks or about three months. The way I'm going, I won't finish the whole "12-week" program because I have skipped a week or a night of checking into the web portal to take the next lesson so I've fallen behind. The Gaiam Yoga Club cost about $65 a quarter ($5 a week, as they like to describe it).
I woke up this morning and felt a big relief in my knee. The relief of tension that I had felt yesterday after treatment had continued after a night's rest. Yesterday, I was really sore, and felt tired from the difficulty of walking and climbing stairs. I could feel the strain building up in my shoulders as I clinched with each step with my right leg. I have started icing down my knee this weekend. I previously thought that my knee did not show any signs of swelling, but today I did detect some puffiness above my knee, which may be a sign of inflammation. Another symptom is that I get pain relief from ibuprofen.
In other words, I am treating it as if it is an injuruy, not just a nick or ding that will go away with a little rest and time.
Another consequence is that I've gone up five pounds over the past four weeks. I have to cut back on my calorie intake due to the drop-off in my physical activity.
Acupuncture chart from Hua Shou (fl. 1340s, Ming Dynasty). This image from Shi si jing fa hui (Expression of the Fourteen Meridians). (Tokyo : Suharaya Heisuke kanko, Kyoho gan 1716). Courtesy of Wikipedia.
My knee bothered me more each day as the week went on. Ibuprofen has become an essential intake several times a day. Last week, I could still feel capable of taking a yoga class. This week, it's out of the question because of the increased pain and the sensation of instability. I was lucky to already have a Friday appointment with my acupuncturist, Kelly Welch, only three blocks from my office. Kelly also practices Ashtanga yoga and had two bad knees so he has first-hand experience about dealing with the problem.
I gave him the background on the injury, which I have already laid out here in excruciating detail. He asked about where the pain was felt, zeroing in on medial side of the knee. He really did not give me a "diagnosis" in a medical sense, leaving that for a Western physician who could use MRIs and other tools to rule out things like arthritis, torn ligaments and other nasties. He gave me some pointers about how to keep up with my yoga while not injuring it further by using a rolled-up towel or blanket between my thigh and calve behind my knee whenever I have to go into hero's pose or similar poses that put pressure on the joint. He gave me the name and phone number of his orthopedist, who handles a lot of sports related cases. He also gave me the name of his massage therapist who has worked with people with knee issues, too.
Kelly did acupuncture on my right knee and left elbow (China medicine is into the yin-yang thing so a Chinese doctor would always treat the opposites to restore balance). He also applied some electrical stimulus, a slight sensation of being shocked. He adjusted it so that it did not reach discomfort or pain. And then he left me to simmer for 20 minutes. The treatment seemed to release a lot of muscular tension that had built up by the pain -- and the anticipation of pain. As always with acupuncture, the treatment seems to wash me clean of tension and compressed energy. I feel lighter, more clearheaded.
Finally, Kelly set me up for three more weekly appointments for follow-ups on the initial treatment.
As soon as I made it back to the office, I shot off an e-mail to the optometrist's office assistant and set up an appointment for next Wednesday afternoon, the soonest that he could see me.
This is not an xray of my knee, but it will serve to illustrate my plight.
My previous entry about my nagging knee injury brought two comforting comments: Mary suggested that I see a sports specialist/orthopedist, and Melissa mentioned that a yoga therapist might help and pointed me in the direction of Doug Keller. Keller is based here in the DC area, but spends a lot of time traveling to yoga workshops and teacher training around the United States and the world so he is not immediately available. His site does contain an archive of about dozen articles that he wrote for Yoga+ magazine, and one did deal with knee issues. I have downloaded several to apply them to my multiple aches and pains.
The helpful responses reminded me that the yogic path should not be isolated, that we can reach out to others for advice, support and commiseration. That's why we have yoga studios where like-minded practitioners can share their experiences. The Internet itself opens up the whole world, both for giving and receiving. Sometimes, injuries and other obstacles get me all wrapped up in the tangles that my mind gets trapped in.
I think my concern was three-fold: first, my yoga-empowered changes have been altering the way that my body parts are moving and changing at different speeds due to variable flexibility, strength and awareness. Second, the injuries themselves can engender changes in the body, compensations for a gimpy knee that may jeopardize my gains of the past four years. Or at least, that's what my neurotic mind was telling me, which just amplified the repercussions of the injury. Third, my ego was telling me that a good yogi would not be hurt himself so I must be failing in my practice in some respect.
Alternatively, I could also take this incident as an opportunity to learn more about how my body works, how it heals, and how it changes in the face of handicaps and stimuli. Greet it as a kind of anti-vinyasa that I have to recognize, accept, deal with, learn from and then assimilate into my yogic path.
I should note that Melissa Garvey and is based here in Washington, DC where she freelances as a writer and editor, and has her own website and YogaPulse blog. Following a link from her blog, I found a fascinating, even-handed article in June 2007 issue of Self, Bad Karma, about the risks of injury in yoga practice. Mary is "anonymous."
Labels: injury, knee, reading, therapy, yoga_resource
For the past week, I have not done any running, jogging or used elliptical trainer, or other gym equipment. The only yoga has been some light, simple stuff at home, except for a Flow I class with my daughter Stephanie at Flow Yoga. This weekend, I did not jump out of bed to get my yoga time in first, as I usually do.
Why? My right knee has continued to bother me, giving me a troubling sensation of instability. Three weeks since the injury first appeared, the day after the Thrive Yoga workshop ended. Probably the most striking complaint is that the knee cap is making a popping sound with a lot of regularity, especially after sitting cross-legged for a while. It has gotten marginally better this week, but not enough to feel that it's healing. I can do yoga without any problem, but I may aggravate the injury in half pigeon or easy pose without even realizing it, even though I never try to push beyond my edge and I flex my foot so that it stabilizes the knee. I have a sneaking suspicion that the injury has more to do with my hips than my legs.
I now believe that I am going to need a professional evaluation, but I am not sure who I should turn to. I have an appointment with my acupuncturist, but I am not convinced that he will be able to address this particular problem. Should I go to my personal doctor, since it's about time for my annual physical? Go to a chiropractor? Go to a professional doing bodywork (Trager, Hellerwork, Rolfing)? Should I find a bodyworker who is familiar with yoga-type injuries? Should I find a sports specialist? I've spent several evenings mulling over the options, Googling and trying to narrow down the options.
Chicago Tribuine Bikram: The McDonald's of yoga? interviews Bikram Choudhury about his brand of hot yoga:
"On some days, I can see why Choudhury’s tightly controlled empire of 500 certified yoga studios and 6,000 yoga teachers—with new locations planned for Evanston, Oak Park and Chicago’s Andersonville—is growing, because the structured routine is exactly what I crave. I know I will sweat when I walk into a Bikram studio, whether it’s in Scotland or Naperville. I know the teacher will tell me to 'lock my leg like a lamppost' because the dialogue is scripted. And I know I will feel clear-headed and energized afterward."
You will find the full text of the interview Talking with "hot" yoga founder Bikram Choudhury. There are some great photos of Bikram leading a huge number of people in a mirror-walled room, which just amplified the impression of regimentation.
Following up on my blog entry about the Wall Street Journal article on yoga and high finance, there was an angle that I did not notice initially. The Columbia Journalism Review calls Tina Gaudoin and the WSJ to task for quoting a teacher at a yoga studio she owns in London. Gaudin is a new editor at the WSJ, brought in from UK. The Gawker also noted the less than transparent relationship between Gaudoin and the yoga studio. I wonder if Patanjali had anything to say about this kind of ethical complication on the road to samadhi.
There was recently an article in BusinessWeek about MBA students turning to yoga to relieve the stress. More than a few business schools (Chicago, Northwestern, MIT and Harvard) offer yoga classes as part of their wellness programs.
Labels: news
This week's multimedia selection is Audio Archives of Tara Brach's Dharma talks at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington (IMCW) here in Washington, DC. Each week there is a 40-60 minute talk about practicing Buddhism in the modern world, and then Tara leads the group in a 20-25 minute meditation. I've listened to several of these talks, and they are outstanding, insightful pieces of devotional thought. I come from a Protestant church tradition, my father was a pastor and I have heard a few sermons in my day. But Tara is not preaching. She has an intimate tone of voice that draws you into the narrative. It's almost as if she is talking to you over the breakfast table, even though she is addressing hundreds of people. Her cadence and timber prepare you for the formal meditation that follows.
Tara Brach is the founder and senior teacher at IMCW. She wrote Radical Acceptance — Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha (Bantam Dell, 2003). I read the book a few months ago, and had been meaning to put up some comments about it. The book is a dialogue between her practice as a psychotherapist and the wisdom that comes from Buddhist Dharma. Although her patients' life stories provide many opportunities for insight into the human condition, she also draws on her own experiences. I found a lot of useful ways of looking at life's dramas and tragedies. The "radical acceptance" that Brach is talking about is the act of freeing ourselves from the self-inflicted pain of feeling that there is something wrong with us (rather than use the "royal we," I should probably speak in the first person). This is more simply said that done, which is why Brach needs a whole book to just scratch the surface. This issue is one of my own personal traumas -- a deep sense of inadequacy, lack of self-worth and self-esteem, all of which poison my experience. I find myself being pulled back to re-read sections and chapters to review key points to her calm grasp of what it means to be human and how to get beyond the trap of human suffering to live life to its fullest potential.
So you can listen to audio files or read the book, either way you'll appreciate the reassuring message of hope.
Labels: meditation, reading, videos
Today's Wall Street Journal published Yoga Bears: It's No Stretch to Say Traders Are Taking Deep Breaths on the front page. The article explains how financiers, traders and hedge fund managers are seeking refuge in yoga:
Yoga, of course, has been growing in popularity for years in the West. The magazine Yoga Journal estimates that about 15.8 million people in the U.S., or 7% of adults, now practice it. Today, studios and private teachers in New York and London report increasing demand from financiers. Allianz SE's Pacific Investment Management Co., D.E. Shaw & Co. and Karsch Capital are among the companies playing host to yoga classes.
Of course, the article is sprinkled with dollars figures about assets and total yearly sales, as appropriate for a business publication, but it does provide a glimpse of how one slice of the market is reconsidering yoga. Apparently, some clients find it hard to chant aum, but every yogi modifies the practice to his/her own needs and skills. In effect, these heavy payers are subsidizing yoga as a viable option in the US market.
Leslie Kaminoff at e-Sutra spotted the article first, so a tip of the hat to him.
Labels: life style, news
I've been taking some class of Forest Yoga from Christine Peterson at Thrive Yoga. So I was bouncing around my usual surfing points and came across an audio interview with Ana Forest herself at Yoga Peeps. I listened and was impressed by her life story and attitude towards yoga (I was already impressed by her yoga performances). She is exploring the depth of yoga by bringing the optics from her Native American heritage and her own physical handicaps:
"What I've been found, no matter what age we are, we can build healthy muscle tissue or we can rot. And the choice is always ours. And I'm not into rot."
Forest Yoga classes are intense and physically demanding, focused on physical core strength and body integrity. They hurt, but I know that they target areas that I need to strengthen to get to the next level. I find it a nice counterbalance to vinyasa classes that emphasize ease of movement, balance and flexibility. There are not many instructors that are certified to teach Forest Yoga, so probably the easy way to incorporate some of her techniques is to her DVD Strength & Spirit at her website. If you want to read articles and interviews, she has an exhaustive selection.
Labels: life style, practice, teachers
For the past week, I have been concentrating on getting priority tasks done at home. They had been piling up since I got back from Spain, and I really needed to focus on them. I had to force myself over and through some mental obstacles. That's why I have not been posting here, even though I have more to say about the Rumbaugh workshop.
It's now undeniable that I have a gimpy knee. It has been bothering me for the past week, with no improvement, so it will be hanging around for months to come. I don't even know when it happened. There was no sharp pain from injury, no sign of tearing a ligament. I just woke up after the Rumbaugh workshop and had a pain in my right knee. Now, it is a steady problem and I walk with a limp, with stiffness and tenderness above the kneecap. I don't see or feel any swelling. The right side is my least flexible. It's frustrating because I had not been trying to force myself in Lotus or anything crazy. I have a sneaking suspicion that my condition is due to a realignment of my leg muscles (quads and hamstrings), which resulted in new cartilage in my knee being rubbed and it's caused inflammation. This is probably connected with my overpronation, poor mechanics and excessive sitting.
This injury means that I will not be running or jogging for some time. I will try to get my aerobic exercise at the gym on an elliptical trainer or stationary bike. I have kept up with my yoga, getting in two sessions of Forest Yoga at Thrive. The injury does not affect me in most vinyasas, and I am careful in any pose that stresses the knee.
