Trying to get my breath back

I have been trying to do some personal healing over this extended weekend: pranayama and meditation daily, without fail. I returned to my practice of sudarshan kriya, after having left it dormant for several years. I do my yin yoga practice in the evenings.

This year has been a real grind, and over the past few weeks, I’ve felt as if I had depleted all my reserves. I get home in the evening and have no desire to do anything, much less go to a yoga class or the gym or do any of the necessary chores that crowd my desk and spill over into my workspace. I can’t bring myself to read or I want to pull back from the world. I have refrained from writing about it here because it seems to lend itself to self-referential rumination.

I am not expecting miracles because pranayama and meditation do not suddenly make life sunny and bright. They do not put an end to my mourning for the loss of my parents and this chill of solitude that saps the joy out of life.